an emotional deep post

Salam...

Huh..guys..things are a bit rough here and there...what an emo weekend i had!!
Ya2...i noe..u guys msti padah..heh..azzah tok...apa jak..kaki emo da..rejek la jadi kwn..jadi bini..yah...ok2..i wanna make it clear...i'm emo when ppl around me start making me upset,sad...annoyed...sedia jak..i'm EMO...

Yep2..I am sensitive..way too sooo sensitive..handle me wif care ok?

Ntah..apa di emo mek 3..dah masuk 2 malam..cta yang sama..pasal education...life..gosh we were seriously mad abt this..

First,...
Kenak suma org suka ungkit2 cta lamak..apa2 aspek la...keputusan spm,pmr....cubala...ungkit dak result apa o..dr tadika indah bah...baruk bes nak...tok x...suka....bila kita tok score high in spm pasya..xbrapa score kt tertiary level...alu la..mula la...madah..ey xbgus..pahal cmya??
bla bla bla

Keduak..(yodeh...nang swakla..)
Pahalka org tua suka main compare2 anak ooo??anak2 tok cincin2 habib jewels ka??
I mean..compare in sense of..blaja cne..kputusan brapa...
cthnya la dialog cmtok..aku salu tangga..aku la mgsanya

Aunty W ; "eh...anak ktk cne kinek tok???anak kmk oversea...ambik medic blabla bla"
Parents ; "oh, gya...anak kmk baruk bis matrix..bla bla bla"
Aunty W ;ohh paduhal..(smbil molah muka merendah rendah kan)..

aku tauk bah..riak wajah ya mcm ne...trust me I NOE...i hate it

Ketiga
Maybe my parents..kecewa ngan results n performance mek kat matrix..they seem like HAPPY outside...supportive,....but deep down..aku asa..they hide something,...their frustration abt my silly stupid pointers..sbb..cdak akan nyelak kmk...sindir kmk..mek tauk bah d way parents mek...mak smpey madah..aieh..ckit na juak pointer...tauk x ...faham x cmne matrix ya..mmg mak..kmk survive dr sia..I SURVIVE...mek study sia..mek cuba sedaya upaya mek..terlalu mencuba..mek tauk..mek x terer hebat tahap dewa...dpt 4 flet jadi dr..g overseas..dpt biasiswa...dapt ktk BANGGA ngan kwn2 ktk kt office..i noe mak..mek bukan cmya...

Mek tok..penghabis duit jak..mala mintak duit...ya la kmk..mek tauk..adikla segala galanya...pas nya dpt twrn utm ya...nampak...harapan suma...rah adik..mek cm...azzah tandah dirik la..
Bukannya mek x independent mak..bapak..tapi kmk tok kdg2..mok juak dimanjak...maok jadi centre of attention...I noe...adik akan dpt...whatever he wants..although nya x wish pun apa ya...I noe..u guys mmg adil ngan mek 2...I noe...u love ure children equally..but under these circumstances...my results...made u guys...really2 upset..deep down inside..I am sorry...it's my mistake...I did not and cannot blame u guys for this...ntah...i just feel bad abt it,....ya jak..

Xpala..whatever it is...i will and want to be independent..biarla apa mok jadi!!