The Extrovert: post raya

Assalamualaikum,
So happy that I managed to write a post now. Since my bibik left for raya to her kampung halaman, so I have to take over her roles at home. Exhausting and yes, It tested my patience so much. Handling everything from a to z, plus other stuffs like driving around to get this and that yet I don't have the time to enjoy myself lately. Well, biasalah itu. By the way, How was RAYA? Bes? Harap harap kita dpt yang diberkati lah oo. Pictures of raya, malas ku mok upload kat blog tok banyak2. Sigek 2 oh yang glams jak uplod kt ujong post ok?

I wanna talk about being the eldest in your siblings. No matter you're Abang/ Kakak. Anak Sulung. Born in a small family of 2 child, me and my younger brother is a bliss. Alhamdulillah, parents paid a lot of attention to us, doing everything to ensure our life comfortable, tapi nak ada juak a few stuffs yang mek rasa DOUBLE STANDARD. Maybe dipengaruhi oleh gender, umur, situation. Nevermind, I just wanna point some things out. Sharing lah katakan. This raya I realised some of them and sometimes it made me felt so left out.

Sometimes, jadi kakak/abang anda harus SACRIFICE. No matter how rich your papa is, No matter how hot you are (eh?), No matter how kind your adik are. Sacrifice varied. Kecil besar, bermakna atau tidak ya lain cerita. Seriously, mek sometimes sacrifice my own privileges/wants. I have to sacrifice my desires just to cover up my envy towards adik. Yala, anak bongsu, he can just persuade my parents to buy this and that for him just in the blink of the eye. Me? Dapat external pun tggu like 2 years baru dapat. (bukan xbersyukur, just saying). Kalau isu kereta, whenever he wants to use the car for futsal or embak gerek kuar, aku terpaksa beralah ok!Sacrifice, kadang2 cancel plans or just balit awal demi nya. Sakit hati noktah.

* I don't know exactly what I am bluffing now*

Nahan hati, nang. Now aku blajar jd sik kisah, biar jak. Sedih2 pun no one in my family wants to listen empathically to my problems and luahan2. Biasala empuan, nang emosi. All I need just lend your ears.

Beralih isu lain, semenjak adik aku tok declaration pasal nya dah bergerekness tek ngan ex schoolmate nya mek ok2 la. Tapi lamak2 inggarism mula menjelma (sampei newsfeed pun iols tuka settings). Like everything way TOO fast way way TOO fast and plus, adik aku changed bah. I mean our close rship as siblings. Everything her and her family. Raya bah common, bila lagik melungak muka ku sitok? Dahla pastok cuti lain2 time, sik expect kah? I've been planning a lot of things to lepak la, bla bla tapi maaplah semua spend time with his GF. Even nya ajak kakak nya yg glam tok jumpa family ria and I was being myself, you know bubbly and he anok mek okay. So why on earth did u bring me at first place? Pasya PDA gik kat FB! Sik uols muntah? PDA is PUBLIC DISPLAY AFFECTION. Like sorang post ya sorang post tok. Madah ya mdah tok. Sorrylah, Inggarism menjelma. Gelik! And everything GF...and since makbapak dah tauk cer ya, like every nano second, GF nya. Sakit iols ok. Nang rasa forever alone gilak koh, dah single, xda gerek, pasya orang cta hal chenta adik aku jak. Sik uols rasa mok terjun dari Wisma Satok?

Entahla, sama ada aku tok envious penjeles nok mati leput kah or sidak mmg over? Sik tauklah, mungkin perlu masa adaptation. Sedangkan boyak sungei gik perlu adaptation tinggal kt zoo nak...(apakah?) Or the big reason that is my love life SUCKS big time. Haha ya kan? :D

Life goes on peeps.
Sometimes being alone is better than being in company.
Sometimes being silent is better than to be expressive.
Sometimes being harsh is better than to be too kind.
Sometimes being single is better than in a relationship.
Sometimes being happy is better than to be hurt.
Sometimes being strong outside is better to be strong inside.
Life goes on. Keep moving :)

Enough said, now pics time yaw!

Ze Family