it's not okay

Behind every "I'm fine" from a girl, there's always a little bit, "I'm not okay, and I just need you here to be with me."

Assalamulaikum,
That is one of randomquote i got it from ma Twitter. Gah ever since yesterday i had the singleladyfeelinglonely feeling again, banyak reasons and saya rasa sudah predictable apa reasonnya..(i am so predictable aye!)ok2, cause maybe i am in the study week where we didn't go to class and not meeting friends like usual, maybe my roomate is not here, so i feel like no one to talk to, next, i feel everything routine now damn bored about it and yes, WE stopped texting each other lately. Yes, can u feel my rush of loneliness?

I eat alone, I cook alone, I study alone, I shower alone (oi mmgla alone!), I watched movie alone, semua alone. Mmgla post ni agak kebudakan but i have to let it out, sometimes i just need someone by my side, sharing stories, everyday whereabouts rather than facing Facebook or Twitter everyday. Yes, indeed they are people who listen to you but not emphatic enough to understand what's ur up to or what's going on. Maybe it is my own conflict of life, exams, achievement, lovelife, feelings and etc.

Maybe these uneasy feelings come from him. Why you come again, knocking on my door, being nice to me, text me everyday, giving me gifts, remind me to take care of myself, give me strength to believe in myself when  everybody is stabbing my back, hear my nags and also swears those nasty words, sharing your everyday doings with me, why?then you just being ignorance, no text at all today, i don't know why it's just stop all of the sudden like this and i am here hurting and feel lonely as before. Why don't u just leave me at first place if you're planning to hurt me again?Maybe ure enjoying ur frens accompany there, fine by me but please don't give me many hopes and make me expect more from you?Please don't do me like this. You know how i love you and care for you, so you taken me for granted, u still do after all the mess in our relationship over 2 years. Maybe we were meant to be good friends to each other but not more than that, i just don't know.=(
This really come from my heart, what i feel now. I may look like only one who working things out but you maybe not, don't "buy" me with any birthday gifts. I don't need that, i just need u to be constantly showing your true feelings and care to me everyday.
Thank you.
Sorry being so serious with this post, it comes from my heart.